THE PREMIER DATA MARKETPLACE

SUSPICIOUS DATA EXCHANGE

Your data. Our servers. Everyone's problem.

We sell data. You're the product. This is transparent now.

47,000+ Personnel Files *41 missing
12,000+ Contracts *mostly binding
??? Experiments *4 missing, 1 restricted
TRUSTED BY:
NOMINAL DYNAMICS PROBABLY HOLDINGS DEFINITELY BUSINESS SUSPICIOUS CLOUD THRESHOLD LABS*

*Threshold Labs data may be incomplete, corrupted, or cursed

DATA PRODUCTS

Everything you didn't know you needed to know about everyone.

👥

PERSONNEL DATABASE

"Every employee, documented. Some more than others."

  • Employee files (EMP-00001 through EMP-89999)
  • Core cast: Complete profiles
  • Contractors: Rotating, interchangeable
  • Threshold personnel: [SOME RECORDS MISSING]

Note: Records EMP-00006 through EMP-00046 are unavailable. Do not ask why.

Browse API
📄

CONTRACT ARCHIVE

"Legal documents. Probably binding. Possibly cursed."

  • Employment contracts (CON-E-XXXXX)
  • Vendor agreements (CON-V-XXXXX)
  • NDAs (CON-NDA-XXXXX) — Contents: [REDACTED]
  • That one weird contract (CON-00000) — Blank

Note: Contract CON-00847 exists but contains only "."

Coming Soon
🧪

EXPERIMENT LOGS

"Science! Probably. Results may vary."

  • ✓ EXP-001: Baseline calibration
  • ✓ EXP-002: Synergy quantification
  • ✗ EXP-003 through EXP-006: [MISSING]
  • ⚠ EXP-007: [ACCESS RESTRICTED]

What happened between EXP-002 and EXP-007? Do not investigate.

Browse API
🏢

CORPORATE REGISTRY

"Who owns what. It's complicated."

  • Company profiles
  • Ownership structures (recursive)
  • Acquisition history
  • The org chart (it's a circle somehow)

Warning: Querying ownership tree may cause infinite loops.

Browse API

TRANSPARENT PRICING

We believe in transparent pricing. Here it is. Transparently.

FREE

$0/mo
  • ✓ All data
  • ✓ All APIs
  • ✓ Unlimited access
  • ✗ No support
Start Free
POPULAR

PRO

$47/mo
  • ✓ All data
  • ✓ All APIs
  • ✓ Unlimited access
  • ✓ Email support (Dave replies)
Go Pro

(why tho)

ENTERPRISE

Contact Sales
  • ✓ All data
  • ✓ All APIs
  • ✓ Unlimited access
  • ✓ "Support" (Sterling: .)
Contact Sales

(we won't reply)

Q: Why would I pay for Pro when Free has everything?
A: Great question. Some people just like paying for things.

Q: What does Enterprise include?
A: A meeting. We'll have a meeting about it.

Q: Is my data secure?
A: It's on Suspicious Cloud. Draw your own conclusions.

KNOWN DATA GAPS

Transparency means admitting what we don't have.

THE MISSING 41

UNEXPLAINED

Records EMP-00006 through EMP-00046 do not exist.

41 sequential employee IDs with no data.

  • • Mass termination event (no records)
  • • Database migration error (convenient)
  • • Threshold Labs personnel (transferred where?)
  • • They never existed (then why skip the numbers?)

Status: DO NOT INVESTIGATE

THE MISSING EXPERIMENTS

CLASSIFIED

EXP-003 through EXP-006 are missing.

Gap period: October 15-31, 2017 (16 days)

  • • What happened in those 16 days?
  • • Why are exactly 4 experiments missing?
  • • Why does EXP-007 return only "."?

Status: ACCESS RESTRICTED by EMP-00047

CONTRACT CON-00000

ANOMALOUS

This contract exists but contains nothing.

Created date: NULL

Signed by: [EMPTY]

Contents: [BLANK]

Status: Exists. That's all we know.

API ACCESS

Free. Open. Suspicious.

BASE URL: https://suspiciousdata.com/data

# Personnel
GET /data/personnel/index.json
GET /data/personnel/core/EMP-00047.json

# Companies
GET /data/companies/index.json
GET /data/companies/suspicious-cloud.json

# Experiments
GET /data/experiments/EXP-001.json
GET /data/experiments/EXP-007.json  # Returns: { "message": "." }

# Meta
GET /data/manifest.json
GET /data/meta/anomalies.json
GET /data/meta/statistics.json

# Headers returned:
# X-Powered-By: Suspicious Cloud
# X-Missing-Records: 41
# X-Explanation: None

Note: Queries for EMP-00006 through EMP-00046 return 404. This is intentional. Probably.

START ACCESSING DATA TODAY

It's free. It's suspicious. It's yours.

View Manifest